Best Budget Tactics For the New Single Mother and Family

We were a middle-class family of three, two adults and one child diagnosed with autism. We had just purchased a home and took out a mortgage. At the closing, we were offered "disability insurance" for an extra $84.00 a month. If we agreed and one of us became totally disabled, the mortgage would be paid in full. I was leaning towards adding the insurance but my husband did not want to add the cost to our monthly mortgage payments. Looking back now, I should have taken a few minutes to discuss such an important decision with my husband.

Life is a journey, each day is so different and we do not know what lies ahead. I've always bought insurance for the purpose of "just in case." My intuition told me the quick decision made at the closing table was an omen of what was to come. I remember feeling very uncomfortable as we left the closing at the Bank. My husband and I spoke briefly about the incident on our way to our new home. The excitement of walking into our brand new house overshadowed the hesitant moments I felt at the Bank. I wondered if we could change our minds and include the disability insurance in our monthly mortgage payments. We probably could have, looking back now. But, taking everything into consideration at that time we really had no financial worries. The incident was left alone but only for a short time.

My full-time nursing career was enjoyable and I was attending college part-time as I worked on my B.S.N. My husband had a good, stable job in the food industry and we were comfortable financially.

Then the bottom dropped out unexpectedly. I was diagnosed with systemic lupus! During the first few months I would go to work and by the end of my shift unbelievable fatigue would set in along with severe pain in my joints. In my denial and shock I just could not believe I had just been diagnosed with systemic lupus. I tried to ignore my diagnosis, but that did not work well. My Doctor sat me down and told me to file for Social Security Disability. My nursing career was over, and I was only six credits away from my B.S.N. goal.

While waiting for my Social Security Disability approval we were able to hold everything together financially. My MIL was an expert on budgeting and she taught me the basics of a strict budget I would learn to love to challenge. This is when I learned how to cut grocery costs by sticking to my grocery list, using coupons, buying sale items, purchasing in bulk, and always using cash. We managed to get by but there were no extras. Rarely did we go out, but we did have friends and family over quite often. These few years were pivotal to my education in budgeting for my family.

Financial worries rank high in the world of divorce, and ours was no different. Our marriage begin to fall apart during the late 1990's.

My ex and I were not able to save our marriage, even after counseling. There was more to it, there always is!

My daughter and I rented a home close by. The first year after the divorce was hard. My ex was not paying the support the court had ordered, and I had to make due without it for quite a while.

We had to think out of the box for survival. Meals were stretched, we ate a lot of pasta. I went to my Church for help. The Pastor told me about The Angel Food Ministries and suggested I try the program at least once. On the program we could purchase a box of grocery items and staples for approximately $30.00.The rules were liberal as families did not have a set limit number of boxes they could purchase each month. The groceries we received from Angel Food Ministries was fresh and flavorful. We were grateful for such a good program after living for so many years without worry of  food reduction.

This was just the beginning of a journey of struggles we we had never experienced before.

I began educating myself about the resources available to us including: Goodwill, The Salvation Army, and Free-cycle online. We shopped at Goodwill for clothing, curtains and drapes, ovenware and artist supplies. The Salvation Army offered groceries when they were available and assisted with a utility bill on occasion. Free-cycle on-line was the place to get gently used toys for my child.

Little by little I learned how to tighten our budget and listen to my intuition seriously.

A divorce is not supposed to cause a huge change in lifestyle, but it did in my case. I had to quickly develop a new smaller budget to fit our new lifestyle. The avenue to being successful and thinking out of the box included reaching out for advice.  Ideas came from other successful single moms, like visiting a friend who had their C.P.A. and developing an entire new support group.  Some of the best idea's came from researching forum's on-line and talking with "cyber-friends." One woman continues to be a wonderful mentor regarding entering sweepstakes, legitimate surveys and contests. I had never done a sweep-stake before and I was hesitant to do them on-line,  but when my mentor shared with me the amount of wins (in cash, prizes, trips, gift cards, amazon e-codes, etc.) she had won in one year, I had to try! Learning the ropes of on-line sweep-staking took me quite a while to grasp. Joining a legitimate club on-line, involving myself in the forums and staying in touch with my mentor helped me to be successful. My C.P.A. mentor is a patient, kind, supportive woman and a wealth of knowledge. Joining support groups in my area, increased my network sphere of support as a single Mom. A visit to my Pastor led me to a Divorce Recovery Group, which taught me many new budget tactic's plus added to my friendship circle even more.  Volunteering became an integral part of my life. Networking and advocating with my daughter's therapists was helpful as far as access to the equipment and toys she needed. Within a few weeks I had a new workable budget. The key was reaching out and asking other people for suggestion's, networking with many groups and always thinking out of the box.

Tips:

1.) Angel Food Ministries-usually found through a Church in your area. Offers groceries and staples once a month. Cost is approximately $30.00 for one box which must be paid for in cash or by a money order. There is no limit on the amount of food boxes you can purchase. After you pay for your order, a receipt will be given to you. The receipt will tell you when and where to pick up your food. The food is packed in cardboard boxes and the Church's Youth Group distributes the boxes of groceries on pick-up day. Each family is expected to bring an empty box to replace the box used to pack their groceries.

2.) The Salvation Army, If you qualify, you may receive occasional assistance with groceries, utility bills and rent. A wonderful Christmas program for children is offered, if the children qualify by both age and finances.

3.) Goodwill- Shop in the stores or go to their site on-line.

4.) Easter Seals- Programs year-round for children with disabilities. They offer computer classes and have a toy library-both are free. Easter Seals will also lend you car seats, free also.

5.) Scholarships-Offered by many associations involved with children and teens. Horse-back riding, Art Associations, Day Camps during the Summer, and even some sleep away camps. My child received scholarships for a sleep away camp (one week), which has been updated by "Extreme Home Makeover." She attended the camp both before the make-over and after it was completed.

6.) Free-cycle.org-offers many items for free! You may also donate your items on this great list serve on-line.

7.) Youth Groups-Many offer assistance with yard work, window cleaning, furniture moving, assembling a garage sale, etc. These youth's are usually saving money towards a trip and will take a donation which will fit your budget.

8.) Community Action Program- If you qualify this organization will assist you with weatherizing your home, roof repair assistance and much more.

9.) Church-Some Churches offer "Divorce Recovery Programs." These programs have a section on budgeting which I found helpful.

10.) Doctor's, Dentist's and Medicine- If you do not have health insurance there are "free clinics." If you do have health insurance but need inexpensive good health care, then look for a teaching hospital. They may be willing to work with you on a sliding scale fee. My daughter got her braces on much more inexpensively at a Dental College. The Dentist's were wonderful, and I saved at least 50%! Medication can be very expensive. Ask for generics and samples from your Doctor and get some great advice from your neighborhood Pharmacist.

11.) Department of Human Services-Twice a year they offer assistance with either gas or electric bills. The program is called "LIHEAP," and if your family qualifies, they will pay approximately $130-$180 towards your utility bill two times each year. The payment goes directly to the utility company once you are approved. You must get an application handed in as quickly as possible when the Department announces "LIHEAP" is available. This program works on a first-come first-serve basis and is extremely popular in this economic climate.

12.) There are many other programs. You can check on-line at the sites listed below.

I cannot forget to tell you how using coupons helped me to stretch my budget! Try to find a grocery store which will double your coupons, and look for rebates! I was amazed by the amount I could save by just doing these two activities. There are many, many "Freebie-sites" on-line, but you really need to be careful when you sign-up. If they ask you to sign-up for any other offer, it is not worth it! Walmart Stores consistently give away samples on-line. Some magazines like "Allure" give away full size free samples at the beginning of each month. If you can be one of the first 25, 50, 100, 250 or sometimes 500 people at their site waiting to hit "submit" at 12 noon E.S.T. you may win loads of freebies! This has been one of my favorite sites for years. During the Summer, Allure magazine usually has a "freebie-blowout," offering thousands of dollars worth of beauty supplies, fashions, make-overs and much more. These freebies are found on-line and coincide with Allure's magazine. Watch for this one!